Sit With the Broken

The woman at the well was broken.

She was lonely and judged by her community and church. Yet, Jesus met her there.

This story has often shined a light on many areas in my life that needed reflection, healing, or growth, but the last time I read about the woman at the well in John 4 of the Bible it led me to thinking about the other women in the community.

Let me ask you a question.

What would’ve happened if another woman who typically gets her water from the well at the cool of the morning noticed that there was a woman missing?

What if she recognized that this woman wasn’t there out of shame or fear of judgment of her past?

What would’ve happened if instead of choosing to get her water in the morning like everyone else, one of those women instead decided to go at the heat of the day to keep company with the broken woman?

Stepping away from the crowd and the “norm” might have gotten her judged.

It would’ve been a sacrifice and not as comfortable.

But if she had, she would’ve met Jesus there.

If you want to experience Jesus in a new way, sit with the broken, step outside of your comfortable, and see the world through God’s lens.

Do the unpopular.

Because that, my friend, is where you will find Jesus.

~ Rachel

Human Trafficking Panel

Last night StopSIS was invited by @nicolemysmith to be on a panel for Dignity Defense Initiative. https://www.dignitydefense.org/

It was an incredible evening with education and awareness around human trafficking as well as testimonies and a call to action for the church.

I continue to be amazed at the open doors, open stages, and open hearts that God places before us in this ministry. It was powerful to hear another heartbreaking trafficking story from a survivor who was in the life for 26 years. She is one tough woman. But the best part of her story was when she met Jesus while in solitary confinement in prison. Talk about absolutely incredible 😭 You couldn’t get this woman to stop talking about Jesus if you tried. She is ON FIRE for the Lord. And doing incredible work for the Anti-Human Trafficking world.

There was also two other women on the stage who were survivors of other things in life, one being that she was raised in the sex industry and has been the only one in her family to get out, to choose a different life, and to find Jesus. She is now serving as a counselor to many survivors of trafficking and making a huge difference.

The other woman was a leader of Nashville Anti-Human Trafficking (NAHT) @nahtcoalition https://www.nahtcoalition.org and shared her beautiful encounter with Jesus and how He gave her a love for trafficked women. You could see her beaming as she talked about the transformation she has seen in so many survivors through the work that God is doing through her.

To say the least, it was an incredible panel to be a part of.

From all that I learned last night I would highly recommend a Defending Dignity event and connecting with NAHT if you’re interested in being a part of this important fight against trafficking.

Recap from Michigan

This trip had started off as a God thing when we were first introduced to the creator of the event just a few months prior.  A lady by the name of Annie Garret quickly became a friend as she shared with us her mission and we shared with her our mission at Stop Suffering in Silence.  We aren’t a political mission like Annie has, but as we shared our heart for opening blind eyes to trafficking in America, Annie Garret put us on the schedule to speak at her upcoming event in Michigan believing it needed to be shared. 

We weren’t sure what we were getting into, but it seemed like a lot of good people coming together to share their mission, their passions, and their truth.  I felt honored to be a part of that.

Anytime Denise and I get asked to go somewhere and speak we often like to fill the time up with meaningful appointments and events if possible.  We found friends who let us stay with them for the weekend and they were gracious to also host a house event at their place the first night we were there.

The group of women and men that came to hear my story left speechless and were often moved to tears.  They definitely had their eyes opened that night.  Following my time to speak I then was able to visit with the people who came.  This is my favorite part of sharing my extremely difficult story.  I get to hear how my story impacted those who came, and they then share a piece of their story with me.

The amount of people who have experienced abuse, assaults, and abandonment is horrendous.  Each time I am saddened to hear story after story of “me too.”  However, the point of our mission is not to open blind eyes and then leave someone there to suffer in silence.  We want to partner alongside them in their healing journey.  We desire to love them and encourage them as they begin to reawaken wounds inside of themselves that need acknowledged and healed. 

Yes, it’s heartbreaking and sometimes uncomfortable to hear such difficult stories, but there’s a healing that begins right in that moment that is life changing.  A feeling of truth for what they experienced but also hope that it no longer has to define or control them.

As the night concluded I found myself awake in bed rolling everyone’s personal story around in my head.  It’s not uncommon for me to remember in detail their story but also their broken spirit and devastated eyes as I lay in bed.  I am so grateful in those moments that I am able to lift them up to God and know that they are in the best hands possible.  Praying for them feels like an honor.  It feels exciting.  I know as soon as I pray that God is sending out His troops (angels) to care for their needs and intervene where needed.  I can rest knowing that God will align more people to enter their path to help them as well as possibly lead us to be a hand for them to reach out to as they decide to say “yes” to healing.  I will go to bed feeling heavy but fall asleep feeling light. 

The next morning, Denise and I had an appointment with a group of nurses at the University of Michigan in Flint.  These nurses were working on their certification to become SANE certified nurses.  (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners) We arrived at the university early and ran over our time as the conversation with these nurses was incredible.  I shared my story with them and spent more time talking about my experiences in hospitals, with doctors, with nurses, and in doctor offices.  My personal experience, including some really awful experiences with health professionals, was beneficial for them to hear.  They were in tears not only for what I had been through but the added trauma from trying to get help. 

We had a fantastic conversation around what they can do to spot trafficking and abuse.  How they can handle certain situations and what survivors might be feeling or thinking in the moment.  One thing that Denise pointed out to them that I thought was so good was that when you are seeing these victims in the ER you are seeing them at their rock bottom.  You are seeing them completely broken and at their lowest low.  It is easy to cast judgement based off the behaviors you’re seeing from the victim in the ER, but she pointed out that she wanted the nurses to see me standing in front them.  She wanted them to see the strong, capable, mentally competent woman that I am, but that in the ER room after an assault I will likely look more like a patient who battles mental illness.  The nurses agreed that it’s easy to get jaded because they are so often lied to that they miss the true individual they are working with and only focus on the exterior. 

Needless to say, that conversation and time spent with the nurses was beyond incredible.  When it winded down I was able to hear personal stories as women pulled me aside afterwards.  And then we were asked if we would consider being a part of the curriculum for the SANE program with the University of Michigan in Flint.  We were honored to accept and excited for what is to come with that partnership.

Later that day we headed to the main event that was the whole purpose for my traveling to Michigan.  It was called Reunite America.  We set up a booth where we sold shirts and books and had a gift basket for anyone who wanted to sign up for our newsletter, we would enter them in to win the gift basket. 

When Denise and I get together we always have an incredible time.  Despite the heavy topic we share, it’s so nice to have a ministry partner who is confident, loving, and just fun to be with.  We laugh as much as we share serious moments. 

We had several conversations with people around the topic of trafficking.  When people walked up to our booth, we would share that I am a trafficking survivor who was trafficked starting at the age of nine from my teacher and coach.  Typically, we would then see shocked faces and either they said that they are sorry to hear that and turn around and walk away, or they will go on to tell us about the issue of trafficking at the border, they brought up their fear of their kid being taken, or now they will mention the new movie Sound of Freedom. 

All of that is valid and real, but they can’t seem to wrap their mind around the fact that it’s not just in far off places.  It’s right here.  What people don’t know they don’t know.  And many of them are simply unaware of trafficking existing all around them.  In their neighborhoods, schools, churches, teams, etc.  They don’t know what to look for, or all the many ways that trafficking can look.  Granted, I don’t have all the answers, but I do want people to recognize the severity of it happening right here. 

Knowledge is power.  Knowledge can protect our kids.  Knowledge can lead to change. 

As it came time for me to speak and share my story the next day, I isolated a bit to run through in my mind how I wanted to share things.  I was only given 15 minutes to speak and squeezing my story into 15 minutes isn’t easy.  I prayed and felt so much peace around the scripture found in Psalm 3:5-6 that says: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

I meditated on that scripture all weekend long and realized that this scripture could help me in what I was going to share with the crowd.  You can watch the video here of my 15 minutes on the stage and see how that scripture became my foundation for everything I said.

https://youtu.be/3KxiYuukhZM

I was very thankful for the kind response that I got from the crowd and everyone at this event.  I was immediately met by a lady as I walked off the stage who looked me in the eyes and told me that my testimony will make a huge impact on others.  That God is going to use me and to remember to keep my eyes on Him.

It’s always so cool to me when you feel in your spirit certain things and then God sends little nudges from people that confirm the things He has been speaking in your spirit.  The whole weekend was full of those moments. 

We were blessed with the opportunity to talk to two men who a part of Operation Underground Railroad (O.U.R.)  One of the men is considered to be “boots on the ground” and goes into these countries pretending to be a pedophile.  He shared several stories with Denise and I and opened my eyes to the procedures they have in rescuing these kids.  I am so grateful for what O.U.R. is doing and how they are saving children and getting them the healing they need in aftercare. 

At the end of the night, I was also given the chance to share the stage with the two O.U.R. men and another survivor who had been trafficked domestically.  We were asked questions by the crowd.  It is always interesting to me to hear what questions people have.  I’m grateful for questions because I feel like that means they want to learn and know what’s going on.  The more people know the stronger our fight will be against this evil world of sex trafficking. 

I would love to share with you impactful story after impactful story that we experienced or heard during our time in Michigan, but just know that God is moving.  God is putting people in place to fight these battles and He’s equipping and preparing those He wants in the frontlines.  God isn’t surprised by the trafficking epidemic and the horrors that are happening to His children.  He’s not surprised but I can also tell you based off the God I know, He’s livid about it.  He is calling up many to stand against this evil.  He isn’t using the people you might expect, but he’s equipping and preparing the specific ones He wants to lead the army. 

I am excited to see all that God has planned and in store for the future.  I know this for a fact, God is still on His thrown, He is still good, and He isn’t done with us yet.  There is so much yet to come and I for one am thankful.

Thank you for reading a few pieces of my weekend events.  May God bless you and be with you.

~ Rachel

Lesson From the Beach

The beach is one of my most favorite places on earth. As I was sitting there today wiggling my toes in the sand, God brought a thought to my mind about the sand.

It might sound like a stretch but I’m going to try and explain grace and sin in the way I saw it from the beach perspective.

If you’ve ever walked along the beach where the water meets the sand you’ve probably noticed that where your footprint once was, the waves softly roll by and sweep the footprint away. It doesn’t take long to erase that single footprint.

God reminded me that His grace in Jesus for us is like the waves, washing over our sin, erasing them from remembrance. It doesn’t matter how deep you dig your feet into the sand, the waves will still erase your hole.

However, the deeper you dig your feet, the higher the sand goes on your legs, the harder it is to get free. It’s the same with sin. God’s ready to wash over the sin to erase it from eternity, but we often feel like we are so stuck in the pit of sin that getting out feels impossible. Sometimes at that point you need help from others to loosen the grip of sand or sinto help you step out. However, if you continuously dig yourself into pit after pit of sin, it will become exhausting for those who continuously dig you out.

Any pit dug that is far away from the water doesn’t have the effects of the waves to wash it away. You must draw near to the Living Water to erase your sins.

However, even with the footprints and pits washed away and erased from the waves, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ll end up with a lot of sand on your feet as you leave the beach. Even though we use the showers right at the edge of the beach to rinse off all the sand and we rinse and rinse and rinse we still end up with sand sticking with us. It ends up in our car and tracked into our house. We shower and finally feel free of sand. But for days, weeks, and sometimes even months, you’ll occasionally come across sand that had gotten left. In the crevices of your vehicle, in the corners of your house, or even in your ears (that was the case for my daughter 😑)

God was showing me that even though He washes away the footprints, there is still earthly consequences to sin that we must pay. Jesus paid the price for our eternal acceptance into heaven where we will be accepted as blameless and free of sin. However, the sand sticks with us for a time on earth. It shows up at random times. Just like the consequence of sin. This is why God teaches us in His Word the importance of obedience. He doesn’t want us dealing with sand everywhere in our life. Trying to sweep it into the closet. Trying to hide it under the rug. It’s NEVER enjoyable dealing with the aftermath of sin but that’s not something that God promised to erase for us. It’s through the work of sweeping and vacuuming that we learn the important lesson to not do the sin again to avoid the type of clean up you’re dealing with in the moment.

That’s the lesson I envision while sitting on the beach today. That, and the remembrance that God loves me more than the grains of sand on the earth. I am thinking of Him often and I can’t help but praise Him for all He is and all He does for me.

~ Rachel

Be Brave

Being brave is not always something you feel. It’s something you do. You do it in the face of fear and unknown outcomes and risks you don’t really want to take.

You do it when your enemy is staring you down with taunting statements of defeat. You do it not to prove there’s something great inside of you. You do it because if you don’t something will die inside of you. You do brave things because it’s time to rise up and speak up and let truth find it’s freedom with your voice.

What knocked you down won’t keep you down. What happened was wrong. Acknowledge it. Speak it. Cry over it.

But don’t die over it. You’ve been hurt but you don’t have to live hurt. You do brave things because you were made to connect. Not with all people, but with the right people. Take right risks. Take it slow. But don’t stop. Don’t withdraw. Don’t disappear.

You do brave things because you are a woman who can kneel humbly and rise intentionally. You will find good people and good people will find you.

And you’ll do brave until you become brave.

You’ll know love again.

You’ll know laughter again.

And you’ll know deep in your bones that you won’t waste all that you’ve learned.

Those spilled tears? Every one of them was you letting go of the pain to make room for possibility.

Your life is not a tragedy. It’s a testimony that God is your Rock and your Redeemer.

And if your hands are shaking let it only be because you’re pointing at the devil who picked the wrong girl to mess with this time.

Don’t wait until you feel brave.

Go be brave.

Remember, if God is for you there is nothing that can stand against you.

-Lysa Terkeurst

The Miracle of Pain

You’ve possibly heard the analogy that pressure will either turn you into dust or a diamond.

In my own words, an easy life is not a fulfilling life.

This morning I had a conversation with my youngest son. He detests hard work. Each time we ask him to do something we are met with whines and cries all in the attempt to get out of doing the work.

Now please know, I am not asking him to do anything out of the range of his capability or an absurd amount of work for his age, but I am asking him to do what he would consider “hard” things. After what felt like hours of reinforcement and prodding to get him to finish a task, we finally sat down and had a long discussion.

“If you love me, mom, wouldn’t you want my life to be easy?” He asked me. I paused because my natural instinct is to wipe away all his hurt and pain, but I had to actually say no. Teaching him to work hard, to develop strength physically, but also spiritually, and to build character is a very loving act as his mom.

Yet, I often complain and whine to God about painful or hard situations just as pitifully as my son does. Just a few days ago I was writing out a prayer to God telling Him how bad the current painful situation was and that I didn’t know how to stop it. I asked God, “What do I need to know about this pain?”

In my spirit I felt God reminding me to remember the miracles already done through this pain.

This pain, this thorn in my side, has led me to my knees more times than I can count. It has led me to the cross, prostrate, and broken. This pain was met with hope in Jesus and that is where transformation began to take place. The pain has been a spring board to find the true qualities of God that I longed to know. It led me to learning self control by resisting old numbing techniques and instead depending on God as my comfort. The pain opened up doors to minister to others by sharing similar hurts and struggles, giving them hope. The pain has driven a wedge between people I thought I needed in order to survive, but it showed me my own strength to stand on what I believe in. The pain has led me to learn worship in the truest, rawest form. Worship has become my go-to when I simply need to keep my head above water on the darkest days. This pain has changed me. Not because of the pain itself, but because of what God can do with pain. God daily uses pain we give Him to bring miracles and transformation.

My goodness, the cross is the greatest example of all.

As much as I long for this pain to leave, I am also thankful that I have a God who meets my pain with miracles. Who wastes nothing. Who loves me enough to allow the “hard” but also to be there with me through it all. Only God could take such an ugly and painful situation and bring so much good out of it.

In this world we will face trials. We will have pain and tribulations. It is a fact. But the choice is ours on whether we remain defeated by the pain, or we give it to God and let Him work miracles through it.

Thank You, Lord, for Your protection, Your love, Your grace, Your understanding, Your plan, and Your miracles.

~ Rachel

Keep Walking Forward

After an encouraging morning time with God, I just wanted to encourage you, as well, with the words I feel He shared with me.

Keep walking forward, my friends. Walk upright. Walk empowered. With the Sword in hand.

As light meets darkness, or cold meets hot, a reaction naturally and spiritually occurs when we fight against evil. Keep walking forward, my friends.

When the Comfort of God doesn’t wash over you as easily as it once did in days past, you will need to use that time to remember what God has told you. What He has promised you. You will need to remember your why.

No matter the pain you’ve endured in the past, or the pain you are currently feeling, God’s plan could not and will not be thwarted. Nothing could stop the beautiful plan He had for you and for me. Keep walking forward, my friends.

Keep learning. Keep growing. Keep teaching. Keep showing. Keep encouraging. Keep lighting up the darkness. And keep walking forward, my friends.

Spirit, lead me, fill me, use me, be me.

We surrender ourselves to you, God. We face our palms upright to you. Open. Ready. Willing.

We maybe won’t fit in most crowds. We maybe won’t find a place to belong in this world. But the Spirit dwelling in us will be our home. His abiding in us will be our source of confidence, hope, joy, and endurance. Keep walking forward, my friends.

May we pour out God’s love to many. May You fill us with a spirit of courage, of knowing, of wisdom, of discernment, of powerful understanding of what you are doing in us and through us.

Keep walking forward, my friends.

We must pause our overthinking and simply allow God to work.

We must be patient and trusting in Him alone. Ready at all times. Led by the Spirit, washed in the Word, with oil in our lampstand. Remaining obedient and speaking boldly in truth and love.

For the unsettling and stirring within us is for a reason. This is not a place to stop. This is not a place to become stagnant or lazy. We must push forward. We must ignore the lies from the enemy. We must find strength in the miracles of the past, and the promises of the future. Letting God be our Sustainer. Letting God be our Leader. Letting God take our hand and guide us forward.

Whatever God is placing on your heart, do it. Do it in faith. Expect the fruit. Expect the harvest. Expect the miracles.

Keep walking forward, my friends. But walk forward expecting, not doubting. Believing, not questioning. Eager not fearful.

For God has set the course but you set the pace.

May this leave you feeling encouraged and inspired as it did me. God be with you as you keep walking forward, my friends.

~ Rachel

Starting a Blog

I’ve been contemplating the idea of blogging for some time.  It was something I’d been rolling around and occasionally offering up to God for years.  To be honest, I’ve been looking for a balance of releasing the trauma in my life by using my voice in a way that is healing but in a way that also gives me more brain space…. Doesn’t add to the brain clutter.

I often say that my brain is like a computer with too many tabs open.  I love sharing and using the voice and the story God has given me for good, but some of the ways I’ve tried doing that lately have added more “tabs.” 

Everything needs balance.  So, this is my attempt at bringing balance.  I am not sure if this will become a weekly blog, or a monthly blog, but I’m certain it won’t be a daily blog.  I just love having a place to brain dump and share when thoughts come flying in, or when God opens my eyes to something new and amazing. 

If you don’t already follow Stop Suffering in Silence on social media then that would be a great place to also get my thoughts and daily encouragement.  But, nonetheless, I am excited about another place to write and brain dump.  Another place to share my heart and my experiences for not only my own release, but also to hopefully encourage, validate, and uplift others. 

Here’s to trying something new, something adventurous, something somewhat scary, but something rewarding. 

Rachel